A Fall, a Scar, a Memory...
I enjoy blogging because I enjoy reading others’ blogs.
It’s like living through the eyes of others, seeing the world through them, learning life through them.
It’s all a mathematical equation.
If you learn 10 things, make 10 mistakes, and meet 10 people all in a week, you’ve accumulated 30 points.
And if 10 other people learn 10 other things, 10 other mistakes and meet 10 other people in the same week,, they blog about it, you read about it.
That’s a total of 11 x 30 pts = 330 pts you’ve accumulated in a week.
That beats having to go 11 weeks yourself.
Well, you see… Life’s too short for a world so big. :)
***
After this morning, I wanted to retreat into my own little world, stay away from blogosphere for probably a month and be in solitude.
Two blows in two consecutive days weren’t too good for a prideful person.
But on second thought.. There should be running away no more.
Get hit, face it, live it, learn and relive.
***
I spent almost half a day at Keith’s place yesterday because he had kindly offered to do a voice demo tape for me.
Disappointing.
Not him.
It’s me.
I don’t deny I have a good voice. But it’s too rigid, robotic, scripted, and hostile.
It was nothing meant for radio.
In fact, it sucked.
A good tool but a bad user makes everything fail.
I went for voice test this morning, I failed.
Reality bites… very hard too.
I am a human and very naturally, I was angry, upset and disobedient just like how a child would to a parent who refused his request.
I scolded God, I refused to say grace, I ignored him.
I knew he had a reason and I refuse to accept it because I so badly wanted to believe I was cut out for it.
Keith met me, apologized so many times upon hearing that I didn’t get through, messaged me to tell me he’ll help me, through other avenues. I thanked him, but I told him, he could be putting his chips on the wrong person.
Ivy called immediately after my sms reached her, Dad smsed to say Life’s not all smooth sailing, Mom took my stuffies to cheer me up when I spoke very little at home, Sam got me pasta to fill that sore in my heart.
These consolations were enough to get me by.
It’s not that I’m desperate to get into radio.
It was more like when you are confident and think you are all ready to win the battle, but only to return defeated with a few men wounded and ego beaten around.
It feels just like that now.
Well… we learn, we grow.
I used to hate it when adults say, “School’s still the best” but they never got down to the specifics.
Now I know.
In school, teachers give you chance as long as you are open and game for it. There’s room to make improvement and forgiven if you make mistakes.
Not in reality.
If you suck, get out and get lost.
It takes a fighter to survive in the big, big world.
80 years down, if I survived these crap, emerged a winner with wounds & scars,
I have lived well.
I enjoy blogging because I enjoy reading others’ blogs.
It’s like living through the eyes of others, seeing the world through them, learning life through them.
It’s all a mathematical equation.
If you learn 10 things, make 10 mistakes, and meet 10 people all in a week, you’ve accumulated 30 points.
And if 10 other people learn 10 other things, 10 other mistakes and meet 10 other people in the same week,, they blog about it, you read about it.
That’s a total of 11 x 30 pts = 330 pts you’ve accumulated in a week.
That beats having to go 11 weeks yourself.
Well, you see… Life’s too short for a world so big. :)
***
After this morning, I wanted to retreat into my own little world, stay away from blogosphere for probably a month and be in solitude.
Two blows in two consecutive days weren’t too good for a prideful person.
But on second thought.. There should be running away no more.
Get hit, face it, live it, learn and relive.
***
I spent almost half a day at Keith’s place yesterday because he had kindly offered to do a voice demo tape for me.
Disappointing.
Not him.
It’s me.
I don’t deny I have a good voice. But it’s too rigid, robotic, scripted, and hostile.
It was nothing meant for radio.
In fact, it sucked.
A good tool but a bad user makes everything fail.
I went for voice test this morning, I failed.
Reality bites… very hard too.
I am a human and very naturally, I was angry, upset and disobedient just like how a child would to a parent who refused his request.
I scolded God, I refused to say grace, I ignored him.
I knew he had a reason and I refuse to accept it because I so badly wanted to believe I was cut out for it.
Keith met me, apologized so many times upon hearing that I didn’t get through, messaged me to tell me he’ll help me, through other avenues. I thanked him, but I told him, he could be putting his chips on the wrong person.
Ivy called immediately after my sms reached her, Dad smsed to say Life’s not all smooth sailing, Mom took my stuffies to cheer me up when I spoke very little at home, Sam got me pasta to fill that sore in my heart.
These consolations were enough to get me by.
It’s not that I’m desperate to get into radio.
It was more like when you are confident and think you are all ready to win the battle, but only to return defeated with a few men wounded and ego beaten around.
It feels just like that now.
Well… we learn, we grow.
I used to hate it when adults say, “School’s still the best” but they never got down to the specifics.
Now I know.
In school, teachers give you chance as long as you are open and game for it. There’s room to make improvement and forgiven if you make mistakes.
Not in reality.
If you suck, get out and get lost.
It takes a fighter to survive in the big, big world.
80 years down, if I survived these crap, emerged a winner with wounds & scars,
I have lived well.
posted by Aileen at 12:06 AM
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